I have written a lot about relationships, chemistry, and job search analogies. You can click on any of those tags on the right and read up on my many hypothesis and general ponderings. Today a friend wrote “I can hold out for WOW” and I thought that was a brilliant little statement. It should be a t-shirt. And a keychain so I can take it with me wherever i go.
I want to be WOW’d. Like i want to think about him, see his name pop up on my cell phone or my email and smile from head to toe. I want to have butterflies when I am on my way to see him, or know that he’s in the car on the way to me. And more than just some biochemical response, I want my very soul to be touched by his presence, his caring for me and my life, and his heart for God and country and of course me. And i want someone who amazes me, challenges me, makes me think about things and makes me stronger on what I think. Someone who blesses me just by our conversation and makes me feel like we can do anything.
That’s a lot to ask right? I often refer to the similarities between job-hunting and dating. But with jobs, we tend to take the lesser of all evils after considering all our options, whatever is basically what we can handle and what pays the bills. Because you HAVE to pay the bills.
With relationships though, we don’t HAVE to be in one. I think that’s something we forget – at least many people I know seem to. Don’t date someone because they are just “there” or fun or cool or hot or whatever corny reason you may have. Think about why you are with that person and pursuing that person. Maybe it’s even a matter of not pursuing that person – maybe he or she is pursuing you and you just kinda give in and let stuff happen. Is that purpose-driven living? I think not.
But here’s where the realism sets in. WOW is hard to find and kinda nerve-wracking. esp for ppl who have been in a serious relationship or married already. you thought you had WOW once and it wasnt all it was cracked up to be. or that you put your heart and soul into WOW and WOW let you down or didn’t feel the same or lost that WOW feeling about you. whatever the case is, once we’ve been burned, it is hard to jump back into the fire.
WOW is also really intimidating. when you meet someone who is that incredible you think (1) this person is amazing… I am so gonna FUBAR this up or (2) this person is not going to want me because i’m not THAT amazing, or (3) there HAS to be something wrong with this person and i wont find out til years and a couple babies into it. or you think a blend of all three of those at once and think, what’s the point, gimme another beer.
I have to think back on the times I’ve been WOW’d. i can count them on uh… two fingers. and guess what – neither worked out. And here I am less than WOW’d by a lot of people I’ve met in the past few years and wondering if it will ever happen again. I am intrigued, piqued, mildly amused and distracted – sure. But WOW’d? Well, not really. I had a bit of a WOW experience in the past year, but it turned more into an OW experience by the end. So, I’m still waiting. And waiting. And waiting some more…
But that’s what I’m trying to say here I think. Holding out. It’s a good thing. It comes down to what I truly believe about life and love. It’s about trusting that if I hold my breath, the Lord will provide. Not literally hold it of course, but figurative. To figuratively “hold my breath” for the right one and to believe beyond a shadow of doubt that in the right time, in the right way, he will be there for me. Before I pass out. Not that I’m testing God, mind you. But that I believe if and when it’s supposed to happen, it will – and not a second before or too late. And trust is tricky. Say that ten times fast. And learning to really trust is what we have this life for in the first place. I think it’s safe to say I’m getting closer all the time.