The past few weeks for me have been extremely tough. A lot going on across the board. My work is insanely busy and people are stressed and frustrated, including me. My relationships have been strained and sometimes nonexistent because of busy schedules and shifting priorities. I feel like I haven’t seen a couple friends I completely adore in ages and being the very social extrovert I am, this wears me out. My group of friends who I always relied on and dearly love are thousands of miles away. My family is near, which is why I’m here in the first place, and I know I take a lot of comfort from them.
But at the end of the day, I crawl into bed and I want to scream. Like I’m falling at a 90 degree angle head first into the ground. I tend to be a lone ranger type – like I’m supposed to get myself together on my own and resist help. I don’t like complaining to friends when we’re out trying to have fun and letting go of the weekly worries. For some people, I turn into a therapist and will listen and try to help them. I’ve been told I’m very good at seeing other people’s point of view and trying to help people see their problems in a new light. I do the same for myself, but often, I get so twisted around with other perspectives, that I become paralyzed with indecision and let things happen because I’m TOO understanding. Maybe that’s a good thing, but I somehow doubt it.
Anyway, roller coasters are fun. I’m reminded of this whenever I go to Busch Gardens, like this past weekend. We like the thrill of weightlessness and chaos… controlled chaos of course. So when I’m in the middle of the corkscrew turns and the weight of the world is pressing down on my harness, I try to remember – I like this. This is fun. Let’s go again.