Im such a dubious soul,
And a walk in the garden
Wears me down.
Tangled in the fallen vines,
Pickin up the punch lines,
Ive just been fakin it,
Not really makin it.
I grew up listening to Simon and Garfunkel, which is funny because my parents mostly didn’t let us listen to non-Christian music. but they were ok with S&G for some reason – even though now I know the lyrics and think uhhhhhh ok.
Anyway this blog isn’t about the musical history of the Jester family. Far from it. THIS blog is about me being a big faker. I’ve gotten pretty good at layering my emotional output and letting people see one side of me. i sit here at my desk and realize, hey I’ve had a really productive day and got a whole lot done. I pat myself on the back.
And then I think about the fact that my heart is hurting – again – for the same reason it hurt this much last time. And I also realize that it’s really not his fault, or anyone else’s. Just mine. Me myself and I. But hey, I don’t have anything in my inbox and my to-do list is checked off!! I rock! Maybe heartbreak really is the fuel behind my productivity. I should have bad relationships more often… maybe having a good relationship will render me completely useless. LOL!!
Getting coffee a few moments ago, my coworker and I started talking and she said that she had no idea i was so unhappy today. She asked, “Do you always hum when you’re unhappy?” I thought about it for a minute and said, I guess so.
I realized I was humming the song from the Monchichi commercial 🙂