So I’ve been very depressed for the past week and a half, and pretty much everyone I’ve talked to tells me the same thing. You’ll be fine. Things will get better. There is something around the bend. God has a wonderful plan for your life. etc etc etc. I’ve been *this* close to getting a big old tattoo on my forehead that says “No no no and maybe” Instead, I’ve been getting caught up on some movies, errrr films, Ive been meaning to see.
Now first of all, I have to say here that I tend to like sad bittersweet stories. I am melancholic. It’s just the way I am. I like to think of myself as a realist, though most would label me more in the pessimist camp. It isn’t that I think nothing good happens. it’s just that life is filled mostly with “it sucks” with smatterings of “doesnt-suck-that-much”es along the way. All I’m sayin is life is hard yo.
So when I rented Life Aquatic with Steve Zizzou and Days of Heaven (as recommended by a friend whose name will no longer appear on my blog) I should really never have attempted to watch them both on the same day. Because overall, they highlight the “totally sucks” moments of life.
Steve Zizzou is that anti-hero where everyone around him suffers because of all his antics and stupidity. Bill Murray plays that to a tee. I could not heart Bill Murray any more than I do.
The set was awesome. That cut out of the submarine was brilliant and I can’t even begin to express my appreciation for the doofy underwater scenes. There were definitely moments I laughed (out loud even) and thought everyone was perfect. But overall, yeah, it was depressing. I think I take these things too seriously.
Days of Heaven was gorgeous and had some stunning scenes, both epic landscapes and small detailed images – like bugs and such. It also had a beautiful cast complete with a young Sam Shepard (I adore) and a very young Richard Gere (I do not adore). The story was a little on the painful side because you saw the whole thing coming from a mile away – which is the point I think partly. There are certain things that unfold that you cannot help. And sometimes you just don’t really try too hard to help it because these things have to play out. It’s the human experience and it,… well… it sucks.
So today I tried to backpaddle away from Depression Falls where I’ve been headed lately, and I did this quite unsuccessfully by starting to read Tom Brokaw’s the Greatest Generation. now don’t get me wrong – this is a fascinating read and puts a lot of perspective on a period of American history I was fuzzy on. But it also is a constant reminder of how uneasy I am about the economy – of the nation in general and of my checking account in specific. so while I think things *might* get better after the new year, the thought is constantly crossing my mind that they *might* not.
this blogging thing is NOT helping!!!