dating and singlehood · womens issues

boys who like girls who like boys

I recently saw a movie which I will not discuss (i was dragged to it by the girls I was watching last weekend) but I did get the chance to see a funny trailer for “He’s Just Not That Into You” the movie.

For those of you who have no idea what that is all about, lemme splain. No, is too much, lemme sum up. (sorry I really don’t mean to be a dork, it just happens) The show Sex and the City, which of course was about a bunch of 30 something single women in Manhattan, had an episode where everything there is to know about men was summed up into this little phrase.  One of the characters was bemoaning the fact that a certain man who seemed all about it when they were together, just disappearred, seemingly, off the radar, when they were not. This caused the group to discuss why men seem unattached and aloof at times. Then a bystander just said, look, He’s just not that into you. At first, they were horrified, like of COURSE he is! And she proceeds to give a list of reasons why he was, in fact, into her. But soon it became apparent that while he may do all the right things in her face, the overall message was clear – he couldn’t be bothered and that is the ultimate sign of rejection. The premise being that men will work hard to win the girl and the girl should of course let him.

Then came the book and the resulting bruhaha around the phrase, allowing women to settle into the timeless truth that men are “hunters” and if they get something to easily, they won’t appreciate it or work to keep it. Whatever “it” may be. I admit I ran out and bought the book because I was curious, and in theory agreed with the premise.

But here’s the thing – it catered to my own aloofness and laziness. The book states in no uncertain terms that you’re not doing anything wrong and that you just be your spectacular self and Mr. Right will come chasing. It gave women everywhere the notion that they were “worthwhile” and if some poor sap didn’t want you, it was his problem and to move on. Again, I agree with this in principle. It wasn’t quite “The Rules” book – which I also read just to be sure I was doing everything correctly. This book told me never (read: Never EVER) call him, always end the conversation and the date first, don’t sleep with him for at least a month or something like that, and no matter what, do NOT say those three little words before he says them to you. 

Anyway, so I was a bit skeptical about a movie based on this book. I mean a WHOLE movie?? are we really that hard up for poignant material? But now that I’ve seen the trailer, I am like this close to going to see it, just for kicks.  Probably my favorite line was from Drew Barrymore (who looks frightening btw) who said something like, “He left me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home. Then he emailed my blackberry, so I texted his cell. And I miss the days when you have one number and one answering machine. And now you have to go check all these portals just to get rejected by all these technologies. It’s exhausting.”

Figuring out what someone else is thinking is exhausting, so I just don’t do it. And I’m not gonna talk about it endlessly with my friends, and I really refuse to dwell on the fact that I’m single and hopelessly in love with the fact that I’m single. But I rather do like laughing at other’s sorrows.

Of course I’m kidding. Just laughing at fictional sorrows as representative of sorrows in real life.

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2 thoughts on “boys who like girls who like boys

  1. Rules are stupid.

    Let me rephrase.

    Rules about who should call, and when to call, and how long to wait to call, etc., are stupid, and are designed solely for those twits who can’t sack up and decide their own emotions or actions for themselves.

  2. I agree with you in theory as well. I didnt say I actually followed “The Rules” but i happen to know them all. Like the one that says don’t do his laundry until after he buys you at least one of each meal and opens your car door before his, even if you’re driving. But wait, the girls don’t ever drive. temporarily forgot that rule.

    (no i dont really know the rules but i do like making them up as i go)

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