dating and singlehood

Valentine’s series 1: r-e-j-e-c-t

 “find out what it means to me”

Let’s face it. Rejection hurts as if someone ripped off your fingernails one by one and then gouged out your eyeballs with them. It kinda stings a bit. I’ve been thinking about my feelings of rejection in the past several relationships Ive had – just because it’s THAT fun, and because I was just talking to a friend about valentine’s day coming up, which is also incidentally as much fun as tying your own legs up in barbed wire.

Now, I’ve done my share of rejecting so you could argue that it’s like karma or something and what goes around comes around. But for the most part, those whom I have rejected had it coming too. So where does it end really? I started thinking maybe I’m supposed to throw myself at the next completely undeserving and unsuspecting stooge errrr I mean lucky guy, you know, just to even out. I know, I’m such an altruist.

But to be completely honest, I tend to put the kind of man I really truly want on this “don’t touch” pedestal like they’re museum quality, and then my image of them shatters whenever they get around to doing just one thing wrong and it’s all hit the road, jack. I am very unforgiving. I’ve learned that much about myself in the past, oh let’s say, five years. Over those years, i have been rejected for a number of assorted reasons, including but not limited to: too fat, too religious, family’s too religious, too asian, too white, too slutty, not slutty enough, too opinionated, too quiet, and the list goes on.

No matter what the reason, legit or not, being told no you’re not the one I want, is no fun for anyone. it almost makes you stop trying at all. It almost makes you sit in your room alone and send all your friends doofy pictures you saw on google image search, instead of tell someone how you really feel when given the opportunity to do so.

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