… ZOMBIES DAY!!!!! arrrrrgh!!!
haha ok, no seriously. so that v-day (v is for vendetta ?) thingy is coming around again to smack us single folk in the cans and i’d like to just share a heartfelt bunch of tips with all y’all married peoples that may help you keep friendships with those of us not currently hitched or otherwise accounted for. buckle up.
10. Send a funny e-card. the kind that reminds us why we really did loathe that last guy we dated who took us out for ice cream and then said “are you sure you don’t want a salad” while looking at our backsides.
9. Invite us to dinner where we won’t be the only single person at the table. in fact, invite every single person you know. and if you only know one of us, stop being so sheltered and make new friends.
8. Dont wear red. Just dont.
7. Dont tell us your spectacularly romantic plans unless we ask and actually *meant* to ask, and not in a knee-jerk “I actually can’t think of anything else to talk about right now” kind of way.
6. Do not under any circumstances try to set up any kind of blind date for any of your single friends any time near v-day. maybe just dont pretty much all of february. maybe just dont pretty much ever. but we know you have a hard time resisting. But if you do invite single folk over for dinner (as in #9 suggestion) make sure you arent inviting one guy and one girl. if you HAVE to play cupid, then make sure you arent inviting me.
5. Do not try to cheer us up with “Mr Right is out there” and “one day” crap. we know. we just aren’t looking for him any time near february 14.
4. Don’t make out in public. at least not on the 14th. 15th is ok i guess.
3. if you see a bunch of girls out at dinner, dont say how nice of them to support each other. they might have been tired of their men failing to make reservations for their favorite restaurant and took it upon themselves.
2. Don’t pat anyone on their arm or shoulder or back or head while telling them God has a plan for their love lives. Don’t pat. Don’t tell.
And the best thing you can do for a single person, remind them how great they are and that they are already loved.