dating and singlehood

do men like when women ask them out?

a big topic of discussion lately among some girl friends, both single and taken. the short answer is yes of course. gives the men a bit of a break from having to sweat it out. but this also depends on whether he is interested in her in the first place, which begs the question why didnt he ask already? and we all know it’s because men are pansies. oh i’m just kidding. it’s more like they just really really hate rejection. (translation: pansies)

so the longer answer to the girl as asker question is really more about will he (1) respect her in the long run, (2) find that she is aggresive about everything and/or too independent, bordering on (or solidly rated as) intimidating, or (3) lose interest because he is looking for the damsel in distress who desperately needs him to save her.

let’s face it girls, ever since we were little, we like being chased but if we’re honest, we really really like chasing. it gives us a sense of power and control, however dubious a nature they have. most people, specifically those who would in fact engage in the action of “chasing,” really like to feel that they have the ability to create something out of nothing and in the end, get what they want. who doesn’t want that feeling?

but when it comes to gender bias and our society, we cannot help but stare (sometimes blankly) into the face of power struggles. this is where jokes are born of the “wearing the pants in the family” and “ball and chain” variety. i mean we can really break down the essence of those kinds of statements and find buried not all that deeply within them the sense of “proper” gender roles and placement. it is and it isn’t as simple as girls play with dolls and boys play with …um … dolls but they drive around in trucks and shoot guns. when you get down to the nitty gritty, we are not really *all* that different.

are we?

i’ll freely admit i’ve asked out my share of men. ok ok, i’ve asked out more than my share. mixed results. i’m single so whatever that says you can go ahead and attribute to this here blog. but more than that, i have learned to sit back and relax and enjoy the chase again in a way i may never have really before. there is something to be said for making a man sweat it out and if he never calls, the answer is clear to me and i move on. nothing a handful of dark chocolate M&Ms can’t cure.

i’ll never forget as a young impressionable pre-teen, sitting in the living room, watching one of my brothers pacing the floor working up the courage to call a girl. i won’t tell which one of my bros, but it’s the one who paces. haha. he finally called and she said yes and they went out and they had a great time and that was that. but at the time it was like all of hell broke open and a pack of demons flooded the room and created havok for about ten minutes. and it was so precious for me as a girl to watch a dude go through all that pressure just to spend time with a pretty girl who made him smile. i guess i’m still waiting for my beloved dante to get through hell first.


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