faith

christianity sucks

Anyone who tries to tell you that living your life for Jesus is easy is an idiot. Not only is it difficult at times it is down right brutal and bordering masochistic. No no, it IS masochistic. You cannot help but feel you are completely depriving yourself of happiness and a pain-free existence, and every day you get to figure out what the eff else is wrong with you. Forgive my F.

There’s no doubt in my mind that most agnostics who started out as Christians are just tired. Tired of struggling through, tired of trying to feel something they just simply don’t, and mostly tired of faking it. I’ve been there. Heck, some days I’m there again. It’s “easy” to sit there and pretend everything is great and quip out a “God is good all the time” with a cheesy grin, but you know generally speaking the world is screwed up beyond belief and specifically speaking your life is a disaster zone.

My life isn’t so bad, right? I mean that’s what we tell ourselves and keep from sharing any of the real struggles we’re having, cuz God forbid we still struggle with anything. Especially something we struggled with once before or the time before that or that time back in college or when we first did … whatever…I mean if you’re still having a problem with that, obviously you haven’t given it to God and you are loathsome. Well, we knew that already.

The philosophers among us start thinking well wait a sec, God created this whole construct and we have to play by His rules because He made the matrix. So He’s really just a sadist who lets us work it out and watches us writhe along in agony until He decides to take us or if He ever gets around to coming back. (Don’t stand too close to me right now.)

And what about this idea that eternity will be like a massive do-over and everything will be reset to how it was supposed to be in the first place? Why couldn’t He just do that, you know, in the first place?

It’s all a mystery. And many give up the hunt. I get that. I’m with you – I’ve been there. Can’t get my mind around it and I will go ahead and say I never will. Living in that balance of understanding and not understanding is stressful and painful and tiresome.

Then I go and make decisions to do things that are the furthest from right that I can, maybe to prove something to me, to God (as if), to whomever is watching. And then I feel the weight of sin drag me down, beyond all hope to the point of desperation.

I’m reminded of a scene in Lord of the Rings – Return of the King (because I’m cool like that). Not the greatest example here, but it’s a beautiful image. Right after his initial attack from Shelob, Frodo falls to the ground and as he falls, he lands in a field of grass and flowers and trees. He looks up and there’s whats-her-face saying something like “if you dont find a way, no one else will” as if that’s supposed to be comforting. But more importantly, she picks him up. And next thing you see him back in the darkness of the rocky path up on his feet, ready to get back to his quest. (Galadriel- sorry momentary lapse)

Look I still don’t get why the elves couldn’t be more useful in the whole thing and why they just became a buncha pansies and ran away. But that’s not anywhere near my point. My point is that our lives are a quest – and I do believe Tolkien would not be offended here – and we get to see, through life, what we are made of. sometimes it ain’t so pretty. But that makes the light seems that much brighter.

And we get to know how the story ends. and any Christian who isn’t longingly praying “Come quickly Lord Jesus” just doesn’t get it at all.

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6 thoughts on “christianity sucks

  1. Christianity is hard because so few people really ever do anything. I think people see the huge sacrifice that some people make (missionaries for example), and think that they’ll have to sacrifice as much…and then do nothing.

    I see so many people who really don’t do anything. Most of the congregations of churches all over the world. And its why I continually stop starting and ending my run at church.

    I don’t think people are fake, at least not intentionally. I think they just have no idea how to begin.

    That’s a shame, because it’s so simple.

    Just take a single step.
    You don’t have to perform miracles.
    You don’t have to shout “Jesus Saves From Hell” at the oceanfront.
    You don’t even have to hold a sign.
    Just live the life God set out in front of you.
    Stop excluding yourself!

    (BTW, when I say ‘you’, I don’t mean ‘Robyn’ 🙂

  2. The elves didn’t help because it was up to the humans (and, uh, hobbits apparently) to destroy their temptation for power. That was something the elves could not do. But they could help in some ways, like reminding them why sufficing to their temptation was a bad thing (ie, maybe had Galadriel not come, then Frodo would have failed).

    In the end, each one of us responsible for the evils that we do. The Ring controls us no more than we allow it to. But also, we are not perfect. And each time we fail, slip on that ring and turn invisible for a spell, God wants us to whip it off and turn back to him until we at last destroy the damned thing. But He knows we can’t do it without Him, which is the whole reason He sent a “Galadriel” to us, to help us and to remind us.

  3. I meant he wants us to whip off the Ring of Power. Get your mind out of the gutter.

    Though I think Paul did say in II Ephesians 2:15 that it “is better to whip it off before you have sex before marriage. But it is better to just have sex than to marry someone you don’t love just because you want to fsk.

  4. Heh, other religions are not good too. If so-called God loves me anytime and anywhere why would I bother doing rituals at some certain time ?

    so-called religious people used to believe Earth was flat and when someone had intention to “fly” they said it was a sin. Only divine/holy person/saint could go to the sky and see God’s throne.

    But then an Atheist finally went to the sky and see the space with with no oxygen and gravity. So the stories of divine/holy person/saint who went to the sky are all fake.

    Without critiques towards religions science would be dead. And we would still believe the rain comes from Goddess’s tears.

    No excuses….saying “God’s plan or God’s secret” is just an excuse to hide religion’s false doctrine.

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