arts, movies, music, pop culture

my top ten geek movies for nongeeks

a friend posted this list below and of course I had to rebutt (is it one t? pshaw!) because i’m all contrary and ornery.

http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2010/03/23/ten-films-for-geek-initiation/

first of all, Tron should be no where near the words “non-geek” unless it is appearing in a thesaurus under antonyms. the 1982 feature film we are referring to is pretty much the uber geek’s daydream and practically gave birth to geeks from 1982 on. nongeeks would run away screaming for mercy. Now I cant speak for the dubious “sequel” coming out, though I will reticently admit it looks kiiiinda sick (in the good way), but the old school neon hat and matching pant set routine is way off this list.

the key to an introduction to geekdom, to my way of thinking, is to trick someone into watching a cool and likable movie only to realize during the end credits that they just totally GEEKED OUT by accident. it’s like a geek sneak attack.

that said, here’s my list: (i’ve thought about this waaay too seriously… just to prove i CAN in fact be serious)

10. Dude Where’s My Car

Before you laugh, think about it with me. You don’t even know it’s a total geekfest til well into it and you’re stuck. You think it’s going to be about a couple of stoners who wander around a strip mall, and then it turns into a sci-fi.  you laugh in spite of yourself because they are THAT dumb, like dumb and dumber but it propels itself into geek city on a rocket.

9. Super Troopers

Again, geekfest in disguise. Chances are if you saw the whole thing and got all the jokes, you’re a geek and don’t even know it. Those Broken Lizard guys are geeks through and through, jacked up on testosterone and a liter-a-cola. Especially geeked out are the end credits scene.

8. Chronicles of Riddick

Especially if the person in question is a girl, they will get “something” out of this movie. Eye candy mostly. But also a plot here and there. While I am fully in the camp of Pitch Black was better, I do appreciate certain things about C of R and recommend the extended director’s cut. It may not make you a believer in Vin Diesel’s acting skills, but you gotta dig the eyes.

7. Monster’s Inc

Delving ever forward into increasingly geeked out flicks, I have to say that anything animated is either going to win a nongeek over or they have no soul. If it’s the latter, dump that person as a friend faster than you can say hello to the scream extractor.

6. Constantine

Keanu Reeves can’t act. Let’s just get that out of the way. But this movie will seem at first to be just your run of the mill horror flick with demons and angels and satan oh my. But what the masses will not realize is that it comes from a comic book character (poorly portrayed by dude man reeves) with the kind of storyline that makes you look up references to see what’s made up and what someone out there actually believes for reals. I dont think Catholics believe Satan has a son, but maybe someone can inform us. And a quick aside – Peter Stormare is so incredibly brilliant and creepy and perfect.

5. The Princess Bride

I’m keeping this one in the original list because it’s a good call. It’s funny and doofy and has a hot couple in it. Seems fairly formulaic for the masses, but the story is anything but. The book is better but of course that’s what adds to the geek factor of this because geeks everywhere will compare the book to the movie and be able to cite differences.

4. Scott Pilgrim v the World

Obviously I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m going to go ahead and put my eggs in one basket. right here. right now. This movie will propel the comic, the characters, and the geeks behind them well into the future household name status. I hope. It’s such a great character. The story will start out like a normal romantic comedy angsty looking thing but it will become epicly geeked just as you settle in.

3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

The first order of business would be to explain to your nongeek friends that this movie is a completely serious account of King Arthur and the kaniggets of the round table. And then demonstrate for them how to bang coconuts together telling them there is an interactive part of the movie where they get to play the part of King Arthur’s horse. It wouldn’t hurt to set up the movie viewing room with some nice shrubbery.

2. Galaxy Quest

One thing that a true geek can do well is make fun of himself. It’s a kind of intelligence that nongeeks dont necessarily possess. I mean the smartest comedians are also generally speaking the most intelligentest.

That said, GQ is the kind of movie that makes fun of everybody and itself in the kind of way that you don’t realize til the end just how awesome it is. And surprise surprise it has a moral to the story. Like a good geek movie should.

1. BATMAN – really any of them but let’s say Batman Begins for argument sake

Batman is the quintessential geek. Intelligent to a fault, of dubious social skills, would rather discuss torque on a steel pipe than football scores, and is ridiculously wealthy but uses it to provide a public service which just happens to include the purchase of more awesome gadgets.

People have forgotten the geekosity of Batman. Dudes. Comic. Book. Hero. Deal. you geeked out on him. admit it. We all do.

PS. this list is not to be confused with a recommended movie list… haha

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7 thoughts on “my top ten geek movies for nongeeks

  1. Hmm, I’ll agree on numbers 8, 6, 5, 3, 2, and 1. But the first two ARE stoner movies, not geek movies. Don’t let the presence of aliens fool you.

    I’d replace those with perhaps Spiderman, Clerks or Mallrats, Hellboy, the original Star Wars trilogy and LotR.

  2. oh good call on the clerks or mallrats. hmmm, yeah, it could replace 10 or 9. i do like those as sneaky geek movies tho. i still maintain the geek level is higher than just a stoner movie like i dont know, american pie or something. i guess you have to qualify what a geek movie is if you want to get serious about it. personally i’d say it has to have jokes in it that only a geek would get. but that’s a circular definition. bah.

    i debated the LotR but decided against it. even i got a bit bored – in all three of them. but the first definitely was the best.

    1. that is awesome right there.

      no, ok, i have been known to say in the past that he does have his moments. i did like him in constantine except for the fact that he wasn’t constantine. at least not how i pictured him. or you know, how the character’s CREATOR pictured him. but what do we know?

      but yeah, i would marry him tomorrow if he asked. so there’s that.

  3. Having not read any of the graphic novels until after the movie, I thought he was great in it. Though his best roles were: the Matrix, where he only had five speaking lines, and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (and Bogus Journey).

    I think maybe those latter two movies, and Point Break, were what both made and broke his career. He’s so often now put in those surfer dude type roles that when he’s not in a surfer dude kind of role, we’re still imagining him as a surfer dude, even if he’s doing a perfectly fine job of not being a surfer dude. If that makes since.

  4. yep that does make sense. but it’s hard to ignore the mannerisms that made him such a great surfer dude. like when he played sidhartha in little buddha – did you see that? i half expected him to say “dood” in a little accent. i mean he really wasnt half bad in that. but he was only half good. if that makes sense 😉

  5. oh and just in case he’s reading this… i TOTALLY HAVE SEEN EVERY MOVIE KEANU IS IN. some multiple times. sometimes i have turned the sound off and had it playing just so i felt like he was in the room. you know, like a loooong time ago…

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