arts, movies, music, pop culture · faith · random robin

yea, i’m kind of a big deal

So I’m sitting, well, sometimes standing, at a student show on campus last night, minding my own business, well, minding everyone’s business (browsing Facebook news feed) when someone taps me on the arm and says, hey are you Robin? You play at Grace church right? I say yes I do. She smiles and says you’re great and I say thanks and what’s your name? and she tells me and she says see you on Sunday and walks off. Sweet. Then about 10 minutes later, a guy walks by and then kinda walks by again and he says, hey are you … and i say from Grace Covenant and he says yeah, Robin, right? and I say yes and who are you? and he tells me and then he walks away as fast as he can. And not even kidding a few minutes later, another girl comes by and pretty same as above. It was cute. I feel like I have a big sign on my back that says yes, I probably play at your church.

But in all seriousness, it was really humbling. Williamsburg is about an inch bigger than my apartment and you are bound to run into people who know you, know someone who knows you, and/or dont know you at all but see you around everywhere because there are only a handful of everywheres to go.

And it’s really humbling to know that people have a high probability of seeing you out and about and you may be answering FB comments, or you may be doing x, y, or z which are slightly less than flattering to your rep.

Like sometimes I really think, dude, I could use a cigarette. And then I see someone smoking one and s/he is in a corner huddled over, embarassed and shameful hoping to God no one (1) sees her or (2) looks down on her, but knowing she really could be doing better things with her time and/or lungs. And while I don’t judge her because we’ve all been there, doing something less than awesome, I do think, what if that was me and someone I know walked by and saw me there? Most of us don’t really *want* to think less of people because of their choices, but we do.

And furthermore, what if we all wore signs on our backs with our names and our job titles and our company name and our family names and our connections with the rest of society, like a giant social networking map blazing in neon for all to see? Would that change how we behave? Would it make us better?

Or maybe worse? Maybe our depravity would get submersed so that it becomes darker and deeper until we find ourselves doing much worse things than we already are. Like the Victorians or other ages before ours, they had these facades of being upright citizens with no proclivities to social evils… right? right. And maybe sheep could fly then too.

I think at times, that the mindset of being an open book serves us all well. While I think a large percentage of people are really very guarded and don’t like others to know their business, I like to think that being open, honest, forward, and humble (that being the key) will always steer us clear in the end.

That said, I am going out for a beer later and I can’t say you definitely will not see me dancing. Horror as that may be. And not necessarily because I’m a terrible dancer.


One thought on “yea, i’m kind of a big deal

  1. I run into students every once in a while out in the real world and am always amazed at how small they look out of their karate gi’s. But I always know the people who recognize me, no random people hail me (though I did once get a fan letter in reaction to a poem I had in The Mt. Olive Review).

    I miss the cigarettes (“grits” as they were called in a bygone era of my life)–I just passed my three year anniversary of being smoke free (but for a one cigarette slip-up in April of the first year) and have had some cravings recently. I’ll never be over them. So I keep my distance and curtly say to them, “You’re dead to me.”

    “Fame, bully for you, chilly for me.” But I’m sure you wear it well.


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