dating and singlehood

why we’re not married

First, here is the link to the article I will be referring to so that you are educated. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html

Secondly, I will say that this writer is not coming from a Christian perspective so there is a whole other layer when you are Christian and believe in different things about marriage and sex and all that. I’m not going into that because I have before and I just don’t feel up to it today.

Anyway, as always, these articles are helpful to a point. It makes us take stock of ourselves and see what we’re doing so dreadfully wrong. But as usual, this one fell a little flat to me because you could turn the whole thing around for a single man who is still single and most of the same stuff would apply. Which isn’t what the article was about, but if I wrote it, I would have at least made that point. And to be fair, I know an awful lot of single guys with all the same problems I have, and while I haven’t actually counted, I think it’s about an even split between my guy friends and my girl friends complaining about “the field.” Maybe we should all get together and draw straws for each other and call it a day.

For me, it boils down to this: be the person you want to marry. You know the old adage, be the change you want to see in the world. I think it carries through to our love lives. I have always thought that the “someday my prince will come” thing was a joke and as I got older and wiser I knew why. No one wants a damsel in distress, not really. At least not any normal guy who doesn’t have a huge ego and a need to be the dominant one. Likewise, no one wants a guy who needs a reason to get his crap together. I don’t need to be anyone’s muse or inspiration, Chicago songs notwithstanding.

You want to be with someone wonderful? Be wonderful. Someone smart? Read something. Learn something. Study something. Someone good looking and fit? work out, do something with your hairs, dont wear tacky clothes unless you mean to. You want someone who is helpful and kind and supportive and gets’r done? Be that person too and do stuff.

Now that’s not to say that only wonderful people get married because obviously that would be a pretty dumb thing to say. So when all else fails, get knocked up.

Thanks for reading. I’ll be here all week.

(obviously, because i’m single i have nothing else to do)

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2 thoughts on “why we’re not married

  1. Oh Pish-Posh with your failure talk.

    At the end of the day you should look in the mirror and recognize the intelligent, creative, and thoughtful individual looking back at you. Like most people, you occasionally need a soccer style kick in the caboose to get things in motion – but not taking home the gold on a challenge or two is no reason to dismiss your effort or will to try in the first place. As much as I scratch a hole in my head trying to puzzle you out, I celebrate your complexity because few people have enriched my life the way knowing you has.

    So poo-poo on your down talk I say. Poo-poo-ca-choo. Go have an ice cream on me, turn that frown upside down and celebrate the wonder that is Robin. Don’t sweat the extra scoop, I’ll reimburse your expense report in full (No chocolate on the receipt please)

    Awkwardly long hugs and chaste kisses,
    Chris

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