Random friend: Is Adam your boyfriend?
Me: Haha ummm no…
Random friend: Why not? He’s so cute!
Me: He is totally cute and talented and funny and reads everything I make him read. (pause) He also can’t legally buy me a beer. That’s like #3 on my must-have list. At least on the top ten. Not that I can’t buy my own but still. It’s the principle really.
Random friend: Probably best for everyone.
Me: He seems to get by just fine. I’ll continue to date alcoholics… it’s a win win.