is an elephant in the middle of the room.
What is prevention? I’ve been thinking about flu shots. I don’t generally really get the flu, though every time I have I think, hmmm maybe I should have gotten a flu shot? But then whole years go by and I don’t get the flu and I say, see? Who needs a flu shot?
This makes me think about people who generally don’t use preemptive measures to communicate with other people. There are entire populations of people who either espouse the idea of “let the chips fall where they may” OR they think they are good communicators and/or in control, when really they don’t communicate well at all and find that they are often in the middle of a train wreck that could have been mostly averted had they opened their mouths at the appropriate times.
And let’s be clear, sometimes we don’t say something out right because of fear of rejection or looking stupid or assuming something that was completely untrue and ridiculous. *I* don’t want to be the first to say, yeah, you need to change because that dress makes you look fat. I want someone else to say it. Or better, I want you to feel fabulously fantastic and have a great time and then yell at me when people tag you in FB pics that make you look fat.
I tend to tell people too much. I have often been in positions in my career where I know a lot and have gained a lot of intel and then find myself backtracking because people can’t handle the truth. I learned from a previous boss, the hard way, that you just sometimes need to keep your trap shut. She was bad at this and ran her mouth to anyone who would listen – claiming that the more you know the better off everyone is. Well, sometimes that backfires and people run amok with misinformation, because honestly people generally only half listen anyway, and before you know it, someone’s collecting unemployment.
All kidding aside though, there can be deep significant hurt involved when people don’t take preventative measures in relationships. You hear something from someone and you run off into Conclusion City and find the cheapest and most likely to break conclusion you can find. But by the time the truth gets out you are hurt and angry or disappointed or depressed beyond consolation and try as you may, you can’t shake it. This turns to either bitterness or hard-heartedness or worse total apathy in the future.
And you patch it over and you forgive and life goes on, but so much pain and sorrow can be minimized or averted altogether if you just think ahead and address the possible consequences along the way.
And yes, this is purposely vague so that I don’t have to apologize to anyone specific for anything that may or may not have to be said in the next few days…