dating and singlehood · music · womens issues

is she really going out with him?

This song always made me smile. And I’m so happy to see this video of it. Nice stuff. And I love how the entire audience yells “Where” and he laughs. It’s awesome and endearing.

Ok, that said, lately I’ve had good long conversations with friends about getting older and realizing that dating is actually serious. One of two things happen to people – they get more picky or they get a whole lot less picky. There’s really no in between or so it seems.

We all know that couple who makes us go hmmmm, what were they thinking? How did they ever get together? Or then there are those women who are getting up there in age and start throwing themselves at anyone who wears pants standing in a 10 foot radius just to see who gives in to the advances. and I mean ANYone in pants. so watch out ladies.

Now let’s just say, just for argument sake, that I’m a 38 year old who is getting desperate and has no horizon in sight. I start to take stock of every eligible man I know and I can go in one of two ways – I can start breaking down the list of all the reasons I have previously not been interested and just figure out all the loopholes – or I can panic and just fall after any man who asks me out for a date.  If you know me at all you can guess which one I do.

Now, THAT said, I watch people like Demi Moore over the years and while I am not one to either (1) model my life after a celebrity because who DOES that really, i mean c’mon, or (2) assume that I actually know anything about her personal life simply from reading a handful of headlines and whatever shows up in my Facebook newsfeed. But the boiled down synopsis and stuff is that she kinda was my hero.

Let’s say that you meet a guy who is, oh I don’t know, 18 years younger than you, and you go he’s awesome and you think that’s ridiculous because he doesn’t even have a major credit card and how will he ever afford me. but then you think what are the things I’m actually looking for in a significant other and turns out… hey imagine that… he has them. but yea that whole thing of him being BORN when you were IN COLLEGE, and how he never heard of Depeche Mode and when you say a list of the hottest actors of all time include Robert Redford and Paul Newman and he says “those old dudes?” and you go, listen here kiddo…  yea that is all a thorn in your side.

And then he asks, innocently enough, because that’s the only way he knows how to ask, what exactly ARE the cons of an age difference in a dating relationship and you go well… in a couple years I’ll be 40 and you wont even be out of the woods known as early 20s yet… and he goes, so? and you just want to swoon but you know better. because the truth is in 2 years you’ll feel 5 years older and everything physical is falling down and you’ll want to have kids and may not be able to and he’ll want to have kids when he turns 30.

And disclaimer at this point, I (the author) have to say I’m not thinking of any one person in particular. NO really. I’m not.

My point though stands. You root for people like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher because you want them to defy the odds and you want them to show us that it *CAN* be done and that love DOES conquer all. But you’re smarter than that. or more cynical. but it’s a vindicated cynicism. apparently. And if he DID cheat on her with a CHILD than yea, you think, well, that’s what I thought would happen. and everyone collectively thinks “told you so” and we all go back to our beers and wax poetic about how life is irony and predictable at the same time which makes no sense but no one cares because we are too busy avoiding everyone in pants.

and not really having to do with this at all … but still fun…


2 thoughts on “is she really going out with him?

  1. My God, you are a great writer. It’s been way too long, and I remembered it was awesome, but like Islands of Adventure or sex, it is impossible to remember just how great it is unless you’re in its midst. This was freaking funny. I love how you can be so insightful without getting maudlin. That is a skill!

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