dating and singlehood · womens issues

to date or not to date

It’s not really a question.

So here are some initial thoughts on my first week at actually making an effort to date. utilizing an online website. which is not one you’ve heard of. or maybe you have. but i’m still not telling you which one.

1. In a small town, you are bound to see people you (a) already know, (b) have met somewhere, (c) find out are friends with someone you know, or (d) all of the above. These are generally either people you (a) have met and wouldn’t probably date, (b) might have flirted with if you thought they were single at the time, (c) might have flirted with if they weren’t with their WIFE at the time, and/or (d) wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole launched with a catapult. It’s way too much effort.

2. My other thought is that when you do meet someone in person (as opposed to through an online dealie), it’s generally in a social setting where you don’t really get to talk too much, you don’t necessarily get to where you exchange contact info or you just assume (and here’s the point) that they aren’t interested. Now, by the click of  a button, you know they are. Maybe someone can develop a button you carry around that says “WINK” and people can push… oh forget it. that’s a horrible idea.

3. When in life do you get to just tell someone everything you’re about in one concise little profile page? I mean other than a resume. Or a blog (ahem). I have long made the connection between dating and job hunting, so I won’t go there again. But my point is that in the course of a conversation, you just don’t generally get to divulge all your hopes and dreams about life and see if you match up.

And no, it’s not

4. That said, it can be fairly easy to just look for someone compatible with you and rule any potential “issues” without ever actually trying to talk about them. Then again, talk is overrated. I’d rather text. If you can’t say it in a text, I get bored.

5. Dating sites rule out that awkward, hey I want to hang out with you but just as friends thing. We’re all there to date. I have had that friend conversation so many times, um even recently, and sometimes it’s so painfully obvious that we already knew that we were only going to be friends, but the other person just wants to make sure. And that’s cool. It’s better to be up front and open – I’m not one to really hide what I’m thinking or feeling unless it’s going to be really really painful for someone to hear. But I try to never let it get that far.

6. Which brings me to my final point, I am so full of crap. No really. I mean part of my problem all along is that I just don’t want to deal with working on a relationship.  Like I was saying to a friend the other day (who asked me if I was dating anyone) I tend to bail at the first sign of trouble. This is how you end up 38 and single. Don’t be me.

That’s it so far… stay tuned for more exciting adventures. I recommend another blog…


One thought on “to date or not to date

  1. I used to think that dating sites were so convenient but now I think it makes it way to easy to create a false self. Before you know it you’re head over heels in fantasy. But maybe that’s just my silly ass. I’m restricting myself to real life now. Which is hard given that I live in the middle of nowhere and don’t see another soul some days.

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