So Third Eye Blind released its debut album in 1997. This was the year I graduated college (I was on the 5-6 year plan) and fell in love with a series of Jews. haha. and I also had my first of three semi-serious stalking incidents. It was an adventurous year.
When I saw that TEB was coming to William & Mary for their Charter Day event in February, I got somewhat nostalgic for 1997 and listening to the album in its entirety for the first time. It was one of those albums that just hit home with me, at times too close to home, and it actually brought about some interesting turns of events in my life.
The song Jumper, for example, was a sticking point for me and my friend Jamie who I don’t talk to nearly enough because he lives clear across the country but has always had a special place in my heart. We have only actually hung out in person twice ever (I think, right?) but he’s just one of those people that I have always felt close to and you just can’t really explain these things the way a song and a series of online conversations can.
[Caution: Random tangent ahead]
I think that these types of “relationships” – for lack of a better word – are human interactions in their purest form. No ulterior motives – we don’t “get” anything from it, we aren’t LOOKING for anything from it, ie marriage, sex, money, mutual assistance in career advancement, or what-have-you. It is just simple and 100% relational. Our souls crossed at a particular point in time and we connected on something that moved us both for no other reason than just being human. Maybe I’ll expand on this concept another time… or not…
Anyway, the album pretty much summed up my life and lack of direction and frustration up to that point, at the ripe old age of 24. I look back now and see fairly clearly how ridiculous I had been and how the choices I made following college led me straight down the flowery path to hell. Too soon old, too late smart. And now I’m the age I am and I’ve lost the sense of regret that I carried around for not a few years and feel this great relief at being on this side of fulfilled in life.
But listening to this album again straight through recently – brings it all back. I love how music does that. It amazes me how the first few chords of a song or a single line of lyrics can rush over you like an ocean wave knocking you off your feet and instantly transporting you back to somewhere else in time and space. You’re sitting in your car at the Kews Gardens train station in the rain, waiting for a friend to come home so you can drive to his place, watch him cook breakfast for dinner, talk about Vonnegut and acupuncture, let him paint your toenails and then lecture you about selling your soul to a corporate desk job that will drain your creative energy. I should have listened. I would soon stop playing the piano and not write a single short story for the next 10 years.
And then the last song on the album starts… (“And there’s a memory of a window, looking through I see you / Searching for something I could never give you / There’s someone who understands you more than I do / A sadness I can’t erase, all the love on your face”)
… and you sigh and write a blog… deleting large paragraphs because they are way too self absorbed, not to mention way too revealing… and you try in some way to recapture about 14 years of your life flashing before your eyes. And the only good thing that can possibly happen about that is … at the end of the reverie… you’re smiling. A lot.
This blog dedicated in part to Jamie F. and Ian S. – two people who have forever enriched and changed my life… not only by making me read a lot of dumb crap over the years. haha.