“I wish I was beautiful…”
I recently had a heartbreaking conversation with a friend who, like most women I know, felt so awkward and ridiculous most of the time. I told her it is the curse of being a woman. You dress up and do your hair and makeup and you think you are the prettiest you have ever been. Then, at some point, while you are out, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and think, capital O capital M capital G, and want to hide under a rock from whence you came.
But then there are times when you get a certain look from a certain someone and you know you just made him feel a little mystery itch on his nose because he suddenly just touches his face because he doesn’t know what to do with his hands and he wants to hide the fact that he unexpectedly got twitterpated just as you walked into the room. And there’s nothing like that feeling.
But a feeling like that isn’t meant to last. Like the kiss in the men’s bathroom in that crazy restaurant in the Matrix Reloaded between Persephone (the ever stunningly beautiful Monica Belluci) and Neo (the ever gorgeously dense Keanu Reeves), such a thing is not meant to last. If you haven’t seen the movie it won’t matter if I try to explain it. Suffice it to say that somewhere along the line, the guy stops being wowed and the chick stops wowing.
One of the cutest couples I know have that ability to get all gooshy all over each other even after 20 some years of marriage. I used to think that it was the most adorable story I had ever heard. boy meets girl and she still makes his heart skip a beat. yea yea yea. come to find out it’s the 2nd marriage for him and his first wife was a stripper who stole his money and ran off with a millionaire/ former client. NOW she has a heart of gold. it’s on the collar with diamond chip inlays on her dog Kiki.
My point? We all want something beautiful. And that’s such a moving target. And a lot of it depends on my mood because some days, a plate of pancakes with half a stick of butter melting on top is the most beautiful sight in the world.
And I’m just glad that my closest girl friends have completely different taste in men from me. Unfortunately they tend to like the same foods though.
“Believe in me –
Help me believe in anything.
I want to be someone who believes.”
– Mr. Jones by Counting Crows, a deeply philosophical song about beauty