“Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
Luke 6:38 ESV
Women can be so cruel. If you’ve ever watched Mean Girls the movie (which I haven’t because I’m afraid I’ll blow a gasket), you know that no matter how harsh something may sound, there is a girl somewhere that will say it out loud.
Meet a woman for the first time and you can bet on two things: she has noticed your shoes and if there is something out of place – your hair, your lipstick, a tie that doesn’t match your shirt, etc. She will have noticed these things from across the room and will have made mental notes about all of it already. Ditto for gay men. Which is why it’s fun to have a gay friend who will tell you what not to wear.
My point is this: the tables will ALWAYS turn.
If you are judgmental and cruel, you will be judged. The measurement you use will be used on you. Can you stand up to your own critique?
The truth is that often the people who are the most verbally critical and don’t hesitate to share their astute critiques with anyone within earshot are also the most insecure and their own worst enemies. I tend to have a running monologue in my head at any given moment pointing out all my flaws and what I could have done better in a situation, what I should have said, how I could have reacted. But these aren’t things I would use against anyone else. If I have learned anything in life, it’s that everyone comes from an entirely different world from me and until you walk in their shoes, you will never really know what it’s like (to sing the blues… or have to choose… or have to lose).
But there are those who will sit and spew that running monologue out loud about everyone ELSE’s flaws and shortcomings, as if these are things worth saying. Is it funny? To certain kinds of people, sure. Is it helpful to anyone? Only if by “helpful” you mean “not at all helpful.” And the thing that always goes through my mind – and sometimes through my mouth – is this: Who exactly do you think YOU are? You want me to list your flaws and everything you’ve done wrong since you walked in or everything that’s tacky about what you’re wearing or how that necklace doesn’t go with your outfit or how about that time you did xyz and everyone laughed at you and you got really angry? Cuz I can totally do that. I am woman. Hear me bitch.
Of course, we here at robinwootton.wordpress.com are not trying to say that ONLY women do this. One of the biggest complainers and most judgmental persons I have ever known was a dude. But the rest are chicks I’m pretty sure. And the real irony is that they will think about all the other people this blog applies to… sigh…
Instead, I choose to measure in love. Hey that would make a great song. I want people to say I have grace. I’m a total clutz and spazz out. That’s not what I mean. I want to be a woman who is quick to point out everything fantastic about you. I want to be a woman who praises publicly and criticizes privately. I want to be the one who will know when you need to be encouraged and built up and not do it by breaking down someone else. I don’t want to be that woman who complains about how wrong everyone else is and then wonder why my phone isn’t ringing on a random Friday night (well, with text msg notifications because who really CALLS any more)
If they say “Robin Jester was a woman who measured by Grace” on my dying day, this is the highest achievement I can hope for in this life. And that would be rad.