Ever plop down on a couch and discover that it is hard and terribly uncomfortable? It’s no fun, right? Or like my clic-clac (I think that’s French for “futon” which is french for “futoff”) which looks kinda cushy but it’s totally not and is mostly uncomfortable to sleep on, so I only let really really good friends sleep on it. Or people I secretly loathe.
But then there’s my favoritest chair and a half (which is French for “dumb Americans can’t name their furniture”) which I bought for like twenty bucks at a thrift store and is pretty much the most comfortable chair I have sat in like ever. It is crazy ugly but looks, as we know or have been told ad nauseum and in such a way to make us feel guilty if we actually disagree with the sentiment, aren’t everything.
My chair represents, in more ways than one, what I feel is partly my place in life. Not the crazy ugly thing. Or that it’s oversized and stuffed… Definitely not that. No, the function I am referring to is being a cushion to others. And not just their butts. Here’s what I mean.
We’ve all been in situations where we just don’t want to hurt anyone and more so we don’t want to get hurt. We’re afraid, for example, to ask someone out even though we’re interested for fear of rejection or awkwardness or fear of getting halfway down the road of life and realizing this isn’t where you want to be. So you just don’t do anything, and if you’re like me at all… This KILLS you!
I think since I was in high school, I learned to deal with rejection fairly well. I had this deeply ingrained hurt that I carried around from my best friend’s death that I think made me immune to all other pains. I liked a guy in college who totally was not that into me, and we became good friends and I listened to all his whining and we hung out and I never shed a single tear over him. I was turned down several times for jobs I reeeeeally wanted… one time for a sweet job with MTV… for the best probably. Although if I worked for them maybe they wouldn’t be so lame. Haha
So fast forward to being an adult for a few years now and I think that rejection and criticism become like tools in my belt. Oh you don’t like such and such about me? Good. Now I have something to work on. And more than that, I think I try to help others work through their own hurt and feelings of insecurity by encouraging them and trying to be like a cushion to whatever blows life deals them.
I feel that we are all meant to be cushions for each other. We are so quick to point out others’ flaws and mistakes. We loooove to criticize. This is the explanation for most of television any more. But at the end of the day, what we really want is to be loved and appreciated. And until we figure out that the only way to be loved and appreciated is to love and appreciate, we will continue to be a most uncomfortable clic clac that no one wants to sit on. Don’t be my clic clac. Be my chair and a half.