arts, movies, music, pop culture · dating and singlehood · faith

the problem with FREE

Let’s start out with a quick show of hands. How many of you utilize EVERY SINGLE BENEFIT your employer offers? And I mean ALL of them?

Yea, I’m gonna say I don’t see any hands.

 I have a boss who will pay for my gym membership. Now ask me if I belong to a gym. Ever gone to a free concert with really amazing musicians and see that like half the seats are empty? Or a table of free books with, you know, books on it?

It’s a phenomenon really. People question it. There’s no such thing as free lunch, right? You have to sit through some wonkiness to get a “free” vacation at a mediocre resort with passable food. Or you think that at some point someone is going to ask you a question that is going to make you incredibly uncomfortable… like how much money do you make a year? and then look at you like you’re a crackhead who snuck into the wedding of Prince William and asked him for a dollar.

 We are skeptical of free. We are trained in life to think there’s a catch – “always a catch!” (If you know the movie I am thinking of here, you win a free prize! Hint: Keanu Reeves says it. No Googling!)

This mentality flows over into Love too. The truth is we ask why would anyone love me? Why would anyone give their life for me? Why would someone risk everything just to spend time with me?

And the answer is, generically speaking, they wouldn’t. Most people want something out of you – relationships are based on SOMEthing – you make me laugh, we have common things to talk about, you are insane and so are my many personalities, whatever. And when it gets rough or sticky or we find that this person isn’t “doing” anything for us any more, we move on.

I had a boyfriend, once upon a time, who would take his entire lunch hour once a week to drive to my office clear across town, walk in, give me a kiss, and then drive back to his office. It would be on a different day each week so I wouldn’t know when this would happen. This didn’t last very long – the relationship that is… I have the feeling he would have done this every week for as long as we both worked where we worked – but I remember thinking that he really needed to find a better girlfriend who would deserve the effort.

I have a friend who is always reminding me to stop with the self-deprecation. I wish I could, but I’m not that skilled. haha. But when someone DOES think you’re great, people like me think, huh – I wonder what’s wrong with them? Or maybe they don’t get out much.

Free love sounds like a term from the 60s. Oh wait – it IS a term from the 60s. And while I am certainly NOT espousing a return to rampant orgies and sexcapades, I guess I am saying that there’s something to Love and loving freely, with no expectation and no return on investment. You give love away and somehow it always manages to come back to you, maybe not in the way you think and maybe not from the source you were hoping for. But it comes back.

Also, I have a coupon for a FREE Ice from Rita’s… for about 2 weeks now…

and here’s the answer to the quote… sorta… please don’t watch this if you (1) don’t like Breaking Benjamin’s music or (2) get skeeved out by blood, violence, demons, or Keanu Reeves.

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