arts, movies, music, pop culture · business · dating and singlehood

i do not want …

…”what I haven’t got.”
or …”this.”

So a couple reflections I’ve been having lately stemmed from the recent event of a friend’s car being stolen from. I can’t say broken into because he left the doors unlocked.

At first you think, well, yea, lock your doors. I grew up in New York on Long Island. not a particularly rough area, mind you, but we always locked stuff. And then you think, well, why should I live in a place where someone would go around car to car and try the door and then help themselves to whatever they find inside that they wish to use or sell? And then you think well why do you leave things of value in your car – like cash or iPods or laptops or your favorite skateboard? And then you think, well darnitall, I should be able to put something worth a bajillion dollars in the middle of my front lawn and people should just not mess with it because IT AIN’T THEIRS!

And by “you” in the above, I mean “I” because this is my train of thought.

It’s sad that there are people in the world who just feel that they can just take things. If I want something and I don’t want to pay for it, I just walk right through the door… maybe that song wasn’t such a great idea, huh Jane’s Addiction? I totally blame you!

I am trying to remember the movie or story or book or poem or spongebob episode where you see a group of people burning paper money to keep warm. It’s like this – the value of things in our society are so out of whack and the effort it takes to earn and get consumer goods and services are always based on what society will allow. You go to a country like India, for example, and just marvel at all the fabric goods they sell when most people there wear the same two outfits every day for like their whole lives.

And maybe we start out with our kids. We buy them SO MUCH STUFF!!! My nephews have these ridiculous toys and if they played with one thing a day every day for the rest of their lives, they won’t have played with everything by the time they are like 30 years old. Oh man, i just had a flash forward of my nephews at 30 years old. Haha. That will be fun to watch!

I think about NOT having things and I wonder about how we get to WANT something we don’t have. You can blame advertising if you like, commercials, the media, that gigantic billboard on I-64 that always makes me want tacos. Or you can blame yourself. Cuz God forbid you exhibit self-control and contentment.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a sucker for a good deal – those cute cropped pants with little embroidered flowers on the hem? Do want. Never mind that I have no less than 20 pairs of capris sitting in a pile (I hate ironing) in my closet. A walk-in. And it’s PACKED in there.

But enough is enough. I do not want what I haven’t got. I kinda do wants green eggs – hold the ham.

My mom always told us growing up that part of the real contentment of getting something you want is the period of time you just want it and not get it. By the time you get it, there is a build up of excitement that lets the payoff seem that much more exciting. This can backfire though, of course, in that the build up doesn’t meet the expectation (can I do the cough-thing here? is that back in vogue yet? <cough> *return of the king* </cough>)

It’s when you don’t get something that makes you re-evaluate what you got. I was once desperately in love with someone who meant the world to me and then he flat out said that he wanted to be with someone else. And what I realized was I’m not going to lose any time or tears or effort in wanting someone who doesn’t want me. It took a couple weeks to stop stalking him, but eventually I stopped and pulled myself together and wanted something else – something more fulfilling – something that made me happy – in a word: Me. I needed to be single and to learn how to miss being with someone. I didn’t even really know Me and who I was and that the things that are best about me isn’t something I bought or wear or whom I know. And I think that some people who haven’t really done alot of time single and lonely in their lives wake up one day and realize that they don’t even know what to miss any more. This is both good and bad. Some people have their entire identity based on their relationships to other people – spouse, kids, worker, etc. And when it comes time to evaluate their lives, they try some car doors to see what’s open.

It takes time to understand oneself. In fact, it takes a life time. And sometimes we think the key to everything being awesome is whatever it is that we don’t have right now. Or whatever it is that we’re working toward. And those things are probably all well and good. But show me a person who wants all they have and nothing else, and I will show you a truly contented person. And then we’ll smack them with the silly stick I stole from my friend’s car.

But I do want teacup pigs…


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