There has been a small influx in traffic to my blog lately for several reasons I won’t bore any one with, but it made me think about how long I’ve been doing this – and not just since 2008 when I migrated everything to WordPress and accidentally lost a few years worth of blogs much to my dismay. This also doesn’t include the blogs from myspace back when that was cool and I thought about transferring all of those over but the expletives alone would probably make WordPress blow up and I can’t be responsible for that. I used to curse a lot. Like it was a contest.
Anyway, I’m always asked why I do this – some people get it as a diary type thing but don’t understand how I can be so public about some of the things I write about. You have to be somewhat of an exhibitionist to blog. You also have to think, like Calvin above, that you have something to contribute. You also also have to either constantly edit or at least be diplomatic about what you write that may refer to people in your life or people who know people, and be hyper aware of the very real possibility that everyone is watching.
That said, I feel like more people should be going through life as if everyone is watching. I’ve written about that recently in the glass house analogy – knowing that we need to be transparent and to let others in. But I also see this in our words and in our methods of communication. To learn to speak and to write – people need to choose their words more precisely. We need to learn to express ourselves in complete sentences. We need to learn to convey intention as well as fact and opinion. We need to communicate and stop failing at it. Writing is a totally underrated method of communicating – and I mean writing that excels, challenges, is well reasoned and structured, profound and provocative – and we have become, as a society, less and less proficient at it. Just read your average newspaper these days and you will notice how very dreary even journalism has become.
We also need to make choices as if the whole world can see them. I love the movie The Truman Show. It’s funny because it stars Jim Carrey who is just a super goof. But it also has this really great concept of what it means to be in control and to run your own life. I mean what if your life was on TV? What if you were on a reality TV show, except I mean a real reality, not a fake reality with countless hours of editing and mood setting soundtracks and trumped up scenarios to create drama? Like what if every moment of the day you had to check in with a camera crew and explain your life and your reasons for doing what you did or what you are about to do or what you want to do but won’t do because there is a camera crew watching you?
And then what if I told you that you have a camera crew? Like all of heaven. And that the Director is watching you and more than that, He sees what the crew cannot see – your heart? And what if I said that you can check in with Him and tell Him what He already knows and that you can wait for Him to tell you what to do next? And then I say, this is like writing for me. This is the process of laying it all out, trying to reason out in a very sensible rational structured way all the aches of my soul, all the struggles of my heart and the thoughts of my head which guide me and lay the foundation of who I am and what I am about. And from time to time, I read through my own words and I remind myself of these things and what I’ve been through, the fire and flame, the sun and the rain, the joy and the pain, (I will not eat them in a box or with a fox) sorry… I digress.
So I keep a blog to be accountable. To myself, to those who I love and those who love me. I do this to remember, to rebuke myself, to not shy away from the hard stuff, to help others not shy away, and hopefully to bless – to bless you reading, to bless me writing and discovering, and to bless the Lord. oh my soul.