No, this isn’t the Christmas post. Well, it could be. I always loved Christmas and probably will forever and ever.
You know how sometimes you can’t tell if a light is on or off because it’s just too bright? Say you’re standing in the sun and it’s shining down on your cell phone and you just can’t read it because of the glare. So you shade it with your hand and you try to see what’s on the screen.
Sometimes I feel like this. Not that there’s too much sun, but that I just lose sight of myself, my purpose, my happy place. Everything is just too bright, too intense, too harsh, too freakishly hot, and I just want to lay down and die.
And then the sun sets and it’s dark and why do we feel the most hopeless at night in the dark? Maybe because that’s when we are most alone or most afraid or all the rush of the day is gone and we have a moment to our thoughts. And the thoughts rush in and crowd out our sleep and we can’t turn it off like the water from a hydrant and sooner or later, the weight and depth of the water floods our souls.
There’s this beautiful scene in Tangled, a movie the more I think the more I see a hundred stories of the Gospel, where Rapunzel and Flynn are trapped in this cave and it’s flooding with water from the dam and it’s too dark for him to see an escape. Then she remembers her hair lights up. “I have MAGIC HAIR THAT GLOWS WHEN I SING!” DUH!!!! Meanwhile I had been thinking all along “you dumb blonde – your hair is a FLASHLIGHT!” And so she sings her song and it turns on and they can see their way out.
But how very often do I forget the light I have in me. How often do I forget what I am made for. No my hair doesn’t glow. Nor does the tip of my index finger. Nor am I blonde. But I’m just as lame at times because how soon I forget, how often I drown in the dark, how very many times I despair – when the escape is RIGHT THERE when you remember who you are and what magic you have – not because of you, because of the One who made you.
That’s where the broken ones need to go, us broken ones. The broken ones need to stand in the dark so His light can get out. It’s the dark that needs the broken ones — to shatter the dark. – Ann Voskamp, from When you’re broken and don’t know where to go
So turn that light on today, babe. The darkness will not endure.