dating and singlehood · family · womens issues

shout out 4

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It was 2003. I found myself in Denver for over a year by then. I had my brother and his girlfriend, now wife, and a handful of coworkers who I occasionally saw outside of work. I had tried out an online dating service which amounted mostly to dudes who wanted someone to be physically active with – I mean this was Denver after all – and I was at a point in life where I was settling for someone who I knew was a good decent man, but we’d have to make too many compromises to make it all work. So I thought what I needed was friends.

Around that time, a group called MeetIn was started in DC through a series of ads on Craigslist and Yahoo. It started as a Yahoo group (remember those?) and branched out to several major cities across the country. It was a simple enough concept – you join the group, you post hey I’d like to go try this new bar, who’s in? For those of us who were quite used to and comfortable with going out to a public place with completely random strangers, it worked like a charm. Early on, I had gotten the idea that supper clubs were the way to get folks together, have a good meal at a new place, chat with people and figure out which of these people were actually valid candidates as friends.

To this day, I count the closest of my friends ever in all my life among those I met through this group. For one, my BFF who was dubbed as such at a MeetIn Denver event. Seneca and I didn’t even think we liked each other the first time we met, but after a few days in Vegas, we knew we had more in common than what first impressions portrayed and when I realized that I was getting married and thinking through who I wanted by my side – there was no question in my mind, that she was the one.

And then there were my Sex and the City girls – Karen, Michelle, and Kara. The four of us did everything together that year. I don’t think we could be too much more different as far as backgrounds and taste in men and all that jazz, but we were much like the four women of the tv show (I won’t try to match who is who to the cast though the 4 of us know) and often got together to discuss the latest episodes of the show and of our own lives. Having birthdays within the same month of each other, we shared a party every September and we spent many many Sundays watching the Stillers at Jacksons in LoDo, becoming friends with the regulars and bartenders there.

It would be April 2004 when my cohabiter and I called it quits and I found myself alone again without a place to live and feeling like I had wasted another 2 years of life chasing my tail. But my girlfriends got me through some tough times, some epic bad choices and some tough heartaches with lots of laughter and great memories. It’s been a crazy life for sure, and so much has happened since those years. But I will always count them as some of the best friends a girl could have.

So here’s to all the single ladies! Yes, all the single ladies.

Steelers girls


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