arts, movies, music, pop culture · faith · family · womens issues

do you feel pretty? oh so pretty?

“I pity any girl who isn’t me” haha! No really, those are the words to the song from West Side Story.

Every where we go, people are always commenting on how pretty our daughter is. Clearly Rob and I are biased, but when lots of people randomly say that Naomi is beautiful, (and she should be a model, she’s cuter than the Gerber baby, she is the prettiest baby I’ve ever seen, etc.) it’s hard to not believe it. She just is.

She’s 4 months old now, and doesn’t understand a word of it. But I start thinking about how as she gets older and, if it’s possible, gets any prettier, she will not only understand it but it might get to her head. I wonder how it will affect her and all I really want for her is to be genuinely nice and kind.

. Just because people will treat you differently as a pretty girl doesn’t mean you should treat others that way.

Some people will be extra nice to pretty girls while others for a variety of reasons will be more cruel. It’s just one of those things. Usually by insecure or shallow people. Don’t be insecure or shallow. Your looks are not a bargaining tool and other people’s false sense of who you are, or, in a related way who they are, shouldn’t affect how you treat them. Treat all people with dignity and respect. And don’t settle for empty praise. Do your best at all times and know that who you are inside is what matters.

. Be humble enough to learn from everyone and confident enough to lead the way.

Humility is not humiliation. It’s ok to admit you are wrong or that you don’t know everything. No one knows everything. You can always learn something new and you should always be willing to improve. Don’t be content to get by. Some people will be more critical of you because you are pretty and others will let you get away with anything. Don’t be arrogant or feel better than everyone else because of your looks. And don’t be a slave to your looks, constantly wanting to be the prettiest girl or have everyone notice you. The right people will notice you if you are doing the right thing.

But don’t be a slave to other people’s perceptions of you either. Be confident in yourself and your decisions. You don’t have to follow what everyone else is doing. And you don’t have to make everyone happy. You never will make EVERYONE happy. Make yourself happy or better yet, make God happy.

. Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world.

Yes, I stole that from a song. Girls DO wanna have fun! Have fun. Be lively and find things you really enjoy. Don’t get caught up in how boys will like you and at various stages in your life they will make you miserable in the ways they show you how much they like you. Wait for the right boy to come along who will like you for the real you, the kind hearted you, the intelligent you, the common sense you, the witty you, the playful you, the compassionate you. There will be boys who won’t take the time to know that you and they will never treat you or love you the way you should be treated and loved. And you will know these boys because you will be looking for the boy who values all the things you value and he will stand out from the rest. Just like you will stand out from the rest of the girls.

. Don’t use your looks to get your way.

If your way is right, figure out how to make others see that. Beauty has power. Especially over weak-minded people. You shouldn’t just get people to do what you want them to and manipulate others. People will resent you for it. And you will become someone who is not that beautiful after all. Don’t be a diva. Be considerate and respectful of others.

. Obey your parents.

Haha. Ok, ok I’m just throwing that in. (But really – do it.)

. People will remember you for your looks, but they will adore you for your true beauty.

You don’t have much to do with what you look like. Yes you can do makeup and take care of your skin and have a flattering hairstyle and fashion sense. But underneath that all is the real you who will always, always, come out eventually. Are you kind and caring? Do you listen well? Is everything about you or do you look to the interests and concerns of others? Are you helpful and courteous? Do you do what is asked of you and then some? Do you always strive to be and do your best? Can you laugh at yourself and have a good sense of humor to turn bad things around? These are the things that make you more than just a pretty face. These are the things you absolutely have everything to do with and they are choices you make to be a beautiful person.

. Live by the golden rule.

If you want people to only like you for your looks, then treat people you think look good accordingly, and be hateful to those who aren’t as attractive. Use people for what they can get you or do for you, and people will do the same to you. And some day you may get everything you want and achieve what you set out to, but it will be a lonely place.

Instead, love others well and you will always have loving people around you. Give thanks for the kindnesses and support you receive and you will always have extra to spare. Be a true friend and you will not be alone. Share freely of everything you have and you will never want for anything.

. And most importantly, know who you are in Jesus Christ.

The One who made you sees you for all you are, inside and out, and loves you like crazy. Follow Him with all your heart and you will never get lost. Looks will change and fade with time and circumstances. You could, God forbid, be in a terrible accident and people will sadly say, oh she used to be so pretty. But truth is, you will still be pretty and you will still be as loved because you belong to One who is no respecter of persons, but a lover of souls. He accepts you and cares for you and every hair on your head. He wants you to know him, to know yourself in light of him, and to share that knowledge with everyone through your actions and sometimes through your words. The most beautiful you can be is when you walk in Gospel truth and love others well.

Be beautiful, my darling girl, today and always.

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