Well, in case you didn’t hear from other sources, Rob, Naomi and I are expecting a new baby!! Here we go again…
Turns out, I’m still in the advanced maternal age group being 41. I’m not worried. I’m actually really pleased that God has shown mercy to me in that I’ve been able to get pregnant easily. I wasn’t sure when I married Rob if having kids would mean long, extensive periods of waiting for a baby. Well, God had a good laugh on us. Took about one week. (ahem) Anywayssss….
So we’re due in May. It feels like a long time right now. Just 14 weeks in. I remember last time, though, feeling like it was going to take FOREVER and here we are with a 13 month old who is running circles around me. Life really does change so fast.
But we’re in a waiting pattern which also feels like forever because of Rob’s job search. We’re waiting on God’s direction and calling, praying that He gives us purpose and peace in the meantime.
Truth is we will always be waiting for something. It’s a pattern for everyone’s life. There’s always something ahead. There’s always decisions to be made, based on facts and figures we don’t always have all the time. There’s always plans to put on hold or to leap forward in faith on. I want to wait well. I want to be patient. I want to be humble and open. I want to be faithful.
And like my last pregnancy, I daily remind myself that God is working behind the scenes at all times. He is always doing something for me. Ungrateful, anxious worrier that I am, He is supplying and making paths for us. We have to believe it. And just like with this little one I can’t see and only barely feel at times, I trust that it’s all working out, even with little real effort of my own. Well, my body is making all kinds of effort, but it’s not like I’m consciously creating a life by my own hands. You know what I mean.
We wait on you, Lord. When it looks bleak and hope is hard to find. When fear tries to storm our gates. When it creeps in like a ninja – oh that fear is such a ninja! When we can’t make sense of it all and we can’t quite get out from under the despair and discouragement. When we don’t have resources we need. When we have to put everything we love aside. When we face the consequences of our broken relationships. When we see the damage done. When we give in to anger and bitterness. When we can’t see the horizon any more. We wait on You. All our fountains are in You. We thank You for all you have given us, our many blessings, and the many to come, however long they take to arrive. Have mercy on us, O Lord. We give it all back to You.