(Say that ten times fast)
Why do Christians so quickly become judge and jury? We all cling to the few verses in scripture that use the words “discern” or “admonish” and other verbs that get us in so much trouble. Why are we so quick to want to throw books at people, let alone stones? Why are we running around with the heaviest hardcover books we can find to throw?
We know that men struggle with porn and sexual sins, and yet we still don’t talk about it. Have you asked your husband/friend/roommate/other Christian brothers you have contact with – are you tempted to look at porn today? What can I do to help you?How can I pray for you specifically? What time tomorrow can I call you and ask you direct questions to help you understand your temptations and the triggers you wrestle with? Can you think of someone you have this kind of relationship with? Do you even admit you need this kind of relationship?
Wives, do you know your husband well enough to know that if you aren’t having sex with him regularly he is probably thinking about or watching it without you? Is that not something you want to think about? Then don’t think – ask. Talk. It will be incredibly painful and awkward. It should be. Right up until it stops being that painful and awkward and starts to be healing and restoring. For both of you. Get help if needed. And PLEASE don’t read the world’s advice on the subject. Don’t believe everything you read on HuffPost or other blogs – not even ones by well intentioned Christians. In fact, don’t even just read my blog. Get a good bible study on intimacy or read Tim Keller’s Meaning of Marriage book together. Again if you already did.
Pastors, who holds you accountable? If you have a session, when was the last time you repented of something to them? If you haven’t lately, or you haven’t ever, there is something very very wrong. There is no way I believe for one second that you aren’t sinning in some way in your position as a pastor. And for that matter, there is no way any one of your session isn’t sinning as we speak in some way – against his spouse, his kids, his extended family, in his job, in his finances, etc. You may be covering all the matters of the church well, but are you covering the matters of your hearts?
Friends, how many of you have been real with someone today or so far this week? I mean really confessed what you’re struggling with, where your heart is? And I don’t mean just sit and have a complain/bitch session about your life or some situation. I mean really been honest and raw about what you feel and think and believe.
How sinful are you? The way you answer that is very revealing of your understanding of God, of humanity, and of grace. If at any time you are sitting in a room filled with people and you think, “I am the worst sinner in this room” then you begin to understand.
How forgiven are you? This too reveals your understanding of God, humanity, and grace, giving us the only truth that can get us out of bed in the morning and gives us purpose to our days. When we repent, He cleanses us completely. Oh that we would be a people of repentant hearts and gracious hands.