They say you can’t go back.
About this time every year, we as a society take nostalgia to an extreme. The cold of winter has set in. Winter but no Christmas. Its long, dark nights and dreary, grey days make us long for bright spots. We look back at special events and pleasant memories. We smile and cheer up. For a bit.
Then the other stuff starts seeping in. The photo that made you remember something or someone less than pleasant. The rabbit hole clicks down Facebook lane that trip you up when you stumble on a pic or comment or status that make you want to run around in a circle as fast as you can and hurl yourself against a wall. Or something less physical than that, but you get my drift.
We’ve been watching Doctor Who and it’s been good fun for the most part. We love the story, this constant struggle of changing history for the better and just how much chaos that creates. It’s deep. Which of course is sad for happy people. Or something. haha. We don’t get that luxury of a blue police phone box. We don’t get to ask to go somewhere forward or backward. But we try, don’t we?
How do you go back? Some of us are in a vehicle of bitterness. Like a bus ride from hell, we cannot take a trip down memory lane without extreme anxiety, rage, pain. Or maybe your vehicle is sadness. Maybe you just can’t help but weep. Over circumstances, loss, betrayals, sins in your life, choices you wish you hadn’t made, or choices others should never have made for you.
But they also say it’s darkest before the dawn. I don’t know if I can say that’s complete theology right there, but I will say that there will always BE a dawn after the darkest night. I will say that the Light will always be stronger and it will always triumph and it will always show you the hope of a bright tomorrow even with the paths you’ve taken so far.
Do you need to go back? Yes. I think we all do. I think we need to revisit, but not to beat ourselves up or to beat up others, at least in our heads. And probably not even to really figure anything out – maybe to understand ourselves better. Maybe to try to educate ourselves on how people work and what changes we can make going forward. But going back is inevitable and even needful. Just go back and see with new eyes. See the way God has worked even in the difficult times. You don’t see it? Give it time. God is a Master of Time. He has appointed your hours and days. He knows your pain and sorrow. He understands it, even feels it. Jesus himself took on Time for you so that you can have time. Time to heal. Time to understand. Time to grow and to be a living light for all around to see and marvel. Backwards and forwards, side to side, let your light shine.